


Pain

by Cuillere



Series: 15 days of Hurt and Comfort Kylo (Tumblr, @hurtkylofest) [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, LFF Comment Project
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-03
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2019-03-26 15:24:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13860555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cuillere/pseuds/Cuillere
Summary: Kylo’s thoughts when left to die on Starkiller Base





	Pain

**Author's Note:**

> This is for 15 Days of Hurting then Comforting Kylo :) Today’s prompt was: Wounded. I hope you like it :)

He knew pain. He was not afraid of it. But when it started to recede, a new fear came onto Kylo. He could feel the Force leave his body with the pain, slowly. He was dying. And he had already pushed his boundaries. There was no more adrenaline in his body.  
He could only hope. Hope that someone would come and find him before it was too late. Hope that Snoke would not abandon him, even though he had failed, once more. Hope that Hux wouldn’t deem the time right to turn on him, that he would have pity for him.  
He hated himself at the thought, but the will to live was too great for it to last. If what it took for him to survive was for Hux to pity him, he would go through it. He would go through anything. He would go again through all of his sleepless nights, through all of his parents’ fights and through that night, too, if that was what it takes to stay alive. He could take more pain.  
And he would give anything for the pain to stay, right now. For it to keep the Force inside of him.  
  
He had long since forgotten how to open his eyes and the sound of the planet collapsing had prevented him from hearing anything, but he was still on the verge of consciousness when he felt something. It was not exactly warmth. More like additional pressure on his back.  
  
  
—  
He had failed. Failed to get in the girl’s mind. Worse than that, she had gotten in his mind. And now she was gone. There was no trying again. He had failed.  
-  
He had failed. He had not mustered the courage to kill that girl. Snoke had said it was fine, but Kylo could feel the cold in his voice. He could feel the disappointment. He had failed.  
-  
He had failed. His mother didn’t want to see him anymore. She was abandoning him. And even Luke didn’t really want him. He was a bad son. He had failed.  
-  
He had failed. Meditating was not for him, he was quite certain of that. He just couldn’t calm the turmoil of his emotions. He couldn’t stop the questions in his head. Even now, when Luke scolded him. What was wrong with him that made Luke always talk about him like he was just an apprentice? What was wrong with him that made Luke be harsher on him? He had disappointed his uncle, once more. Disappointed his master. He had failed.  
-  
He had failed. The girl had beaten him. Snoke had abandoned him. One too many failures. He could see his eyes, the disappointed look in his eyes. Luke’s eyes had been exactly the same. He had failed.  
—  
  
  
The pain was back. At least, that meant he was alive. Each breath sent a tingling hurt all over his ribcage, and a sharp burning sensation into his left flank and his shoulders.  
He was alive.  
Hux had had pity for him.  
Possibly, Snoke had not abandoned him.  
He was alive.  
His body hurt, yes. And he was tired. But he was alive. And he knew the pains were nothing. Snoke would guide him. He could still try to reason with the girl. He had lost a battle, but he was still there. The war was not lost. His life was not lost. And he would fight.  
  
He winced as a deeper inhale brought out the pains a bit more, and opened his eyes. He had already noticed the constant, low hum of the ship, and the light gray of the ceiling clued him to the medbay. Which made sense.  
His right shoulder was by far the worst. Close second came his neck and face, which were the same wound. Then his left flank, and lastly his other shoulder. Well, he was also sore. Moving hurt.  
He knew pain. He was not afraid of it.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of the [LLF Comment Project](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject), which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:  
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